I'm only one voice in a million, but you ain't taking that from me

I love having something to say and expressing it in words, whether they are scribbled across a page or set to a tune. I have been hesitant to share that with others, but right now, I’m throwing caution to the wind. For one thing, there’s this whole blogging thing I’m doing – I’m sure you hadn’t noticed – I’m beginning to post my lyrics online, I’ll be uploading videos, the whole nine yards (brought to you by the world wide web).

It has been brought to my attention by those who know me best (read: my family) that I struggle somewhat with criticism. I’m working on that . . .

My siblings, Kerissa (16), Uriah (17), Isaiah (9), and Ayana (15) are never hesitant to build me up with their constructive criticism.

On the other hand, people seem especially out to tear you down when it comes to the mediums I chosen to express myself. If only I had been an artist instead or maybe a photographer (which is not to say that they get any walk in the park either), but alas, I am a writer with no idea of whether I am a good one or not. My human nature is inclined to measure that by comparing myself to others. I am hoping to shy away from that practice.

I think we all tend to measure ourselves and our work (or whatever else “it” may be) by what others think, which is not an unwise decision. My pastor spoke about emotional margin (a blog post topic to come) at Bible study last night. He shared how he handles criticism, never ignoring, but first considering the source (how well does the critic know you, or in this case, how much do they really know about writing?) then considering what they’ve said and making any adjustments that will better yourself (or your work). I love the notion of truly considering the source of your critiscm.

As I considered this, Natasha Bedingfield’s song “Strip Me” came to mind.

“Take what you want steal my pride
Build me up or cut me down to size
Shut me out but I’ll just scream
I’m only one voice in a million
But you ain’t taking that from me”

With this in mind I am prepared to make myself vulnerable before others as I present my work and bring what I have to the table. I’ve always had a voice; I’m only just beginning to raise it.

P.S. If you liked the song, check out this artist:

Natasha Bedingfield

Never mind what it’s about, run in circles, scream and shout

My pastor recently painted the perfect picture of a carefree spirit for the congregation. He said he lives behind an elementary school, where the children all do the same thing every day before and after school: “runnin’ and hollerin’”,  and that it only takes one child doing so to get the entire group on board. The notion made me think of the phrase “when in danger, when in doubt, run in circles scream, and shout”. Of course children don’t need to be in danger or in doubt to engage in this mindless behavior, so their motto seems to be “never mind what it’s about, run in circles, scream and shout.”

Passing through the market the other day, I passed a number of children out grocery shopping with their parents. While I was not in the mood to be there, they were perfectly content and even happy to be there. One little girl (4 or 5 years old) burst into a particular fit of joy while passing the pickle section in an isle. “Pickles! Pickles!”, she declared, jumping up and down. Her joy continued up and down each isle I passed her in. Kids are happy with little to no reason at all. They’re candid and they live in the moment. I think that’s part of why I enjoy working with them so much.

Also, in most cases they haven’t learned to be prejudiced or guarded yet. They just want to have fun and be loved. I got the most overwhelming sense of this the other day while I was babysitting. I was looking after four children (ages 4, 5, 7, and 11) and at some point they all surrounded me as I read to them. I was reading Thumbelina while two of the kids sat in my crisscrossed lap, one sat beside/behind me with his chin over my shoulder and the last one sat in a chair behind me, playing in my hair. Except for one of those children, that was my first time to meet the kids. They get so close so fast.

Breeze, one of the children I regularly babysit, smiling without a care.

 I was inspired to write about this today, because of an urge I had in one of my classes earlier, that made me wish I were a kid. In my writing class, we looked at two School House Rock videos (Conjunction Junction & Interjections). I had a natural urge to sing along, but because I’m 18, in college, and “an adult”, who was surrounded by a group of silent spectators who surely knew the songs as well, I didn’t, at least not at first. When I did start to sing along, it certainly wasn’t audible. I thought to myself, if I were a kid it would be perfectly acceptable for me to sing out loud right now. However, as I reflected on it later, I realized that if I were a kid I wouldn’t have cared whether or not it was “acceptable”. In fact, I wouldn’t have thought about it or asked any questions at all. I would just do it. Seems Nike’s motto isn’t their own after all, and that children have dibs on that one.

In any case, while my age does require me to think first and control my impulses, there are a few things that I could learn from children. To start I can have a childlike sense of contentment, which would probably help to assuage the level of stress I often find myself dealing with (seriously, lately my pimples have been worse than when I was going through puberty – that is stress!). Next, I’d like to be more candid and less politically correct. I know how that sounds and I’m okay with that. That attribute is what makes children more honest than those who have passed the stage of childhood. Last, but not least, I want to be without prejudice and let down my guard, so that I can grow closer to others. Of course I bear in mind that such a spirit would allow people to hurt me more often and more easily. A child’s ignorance of this is what makes their easy and abundant friendships bliss. I can’t revert back to that ignorance, but I can choose not to let it weigh on my mind so heavily, when I am interacting with others and attempting to form long-lasting relationships.

In any case there is hope for me yet, because like anyone else, I have never lost the childlike desire to have fun and to be loved.

P.S. If you liked this song, check out this artist:

Taylor Swift

How to Save a Life . . or Three

Not too many words today.

Between govt2301 and musi2325 this morning. About 50 minutes. A tiny prick, with a needle not quite as tiny. One pint of blood. Three lives saved. It’s that simple.

Does it not blow your mind that this simple action can save three lives? Be a part of something great: donate blood.

P.S. If you liked the song check out this artist:

I Love You

Although I hadn’t intended for it to be so, during the break I ended up taking a break from my few days of blogging. It’s funny how things like that work out. Right before the break I thought to myself “I think I’ll use this opportunity to catch up or get ahead in my classes. As soon as my head hit the bed on the evening that the break supposedly started (How do you count the weekend as part of the break, when you would normally be out of school at that time?) those thoughts left me and my usual procrastinator mind frame set back in. After that evening our lovely internet service providers (read: Time Warner) left us without internet for four days. After losing four days, I just fell completely out of the swing of blogging that I had just started to develop. In any case, here I am blogging about a quick thought I just had thanks to my little (read: nine-year-old) brother, Isaiah.

I worked on a couple word-finds with Isaiah, which is über entertaining since he’s as competitive as I am at half my age and wants me to fully compete with him and go easy on him at the same time. His bedtime rolled around and so the game is to be continued tomorrow morning before school. Before heading to bed he gave me a big hug and told me goodnight, then said “I love you.” Awww. Sometimes he is so sweet. In any case I told him “I love you too”. The thought struck me that I seldom say “I love you” to anyone. If someone I love tells me they love me, it’s only natural to say “I love you too”, and I mean every word of it, but for some reason it is so hard for me to say “I love you” first.

When I think back on my childhood I remember saying it more then. Over the break my family tackled some unpacking and came across old photos (from the old days when people developed little rolls of film). I came to realize what a different time that was. We also came across some old Mother’s Day cards (the kind you made in grade school). Our horrific spelling and grammar not to mention our honest and straight forward messages were . . . interesting (and somewhat hilarious). My sister Ayana had written one back in kindergarten that read “I love you becaes you love me”.

Having become better spellers and more thoughtful writers since then, we laugh at that little message and maybe even think to ourselves how horrible that sounds. However the notion is an honest one that probably applies to most of us in many of our relationships. The extension of that notion is ‘I love you, because you loved me first”. Could you have loved your parents before they loved you? In every relationship someone has to take the first step. If you’ve had a boyfriend or girlfriend with whom you shared a serious relationship, was this not a factor on your mind – who would say “the L word” first? For me as a Christian 1 John 4:19 comes to mind:

“We loved him because he first loved us.”

There’s nothing wrong with being the recipient of the first “I love you”, but perhaps it’s not so bad to say it first and even more so to actually love the person first. I would encourage you (as well as myself) to try to be the one to take that first step in future relationships.

“Ar scath a cheile a mhaireas na daoine.”

You probably looked at the title of this post and wondered for a moment whether I was half asleep when I wrote it. I wasn’t. “Ar scath a cheile a mhaireas na daoine” translated says “It is in the shelter of each other that the people live.” It is an old Irish proverb that I learned from a very wise group of musicians (read: Jars of Clay. *Be sure to check out their song above*).

Two events, one very small and the other rather large, caused this thought to cross my mind today. Strolling around campus with the intention of taking a few pictures (read: attempting photography and modeling), my friend Priska and I came across a girl carrying the smallest little puppy I’ve ever seen.

Note: *I am not really a dog person, much less a canine connoisseur, so this puppy may have been average in size, but seemed very small to me*.

In any case we stopped to check it out, taking turns holding little Beau and taking pictures. Thinking over the experience, as I looked at the pictures later on, I realized how frail the little guy was and how much he needs someone to look after him. Lucky for Beau, being a puppy in addition to being that size draws in a number of contenders for the position not just of provider, but of friend. I thought to myself if a little animal without a soul needs us, than how much more we need one another. How is it that dogs got to be man’s best friend? Could we not count on one another?

Now I have nothing against dogs or dog lovers, and some people might feel that I’m taking the expression out of context, since “man” in the context of “man’s best friend”, most likely refers to mankind. I won’t argue against that. However I will ask that you consider this: Why do people (particularly in our nation) feel more compelled to find food and shelter for animals in need, than for people in need?

I don’t have any hard facts or statistics to support that claim, but honestly I don’t need any. Ask yourself if you were to spot a homeless man on the street and a homeless dog, which of the two would you be more likely to attempt to help?

I’ll come now to the second event that got me thinking about all this today: the disaster in Japan. The death toll is currently 236 and rising, expected to exceed 1000.

Between the death and destruction, people there are in desperate need of shelter in every sense of the word. Will we leave them abandoned in their immediate time of need? Of course not. Nothing opens our hearts and our wallets simultaneously like natural disaster. Sadly it seems that our eyes remain unopened. My concern is that we leave them abandoned when the immediacy dissipates and the news of Japan’s devastation is no longer newsworthy. Of course there is also the role of politics that is extended with America’s “helping hand”. But I won’t go into that.

I lived in New Orleans at the time of Hurricane Katrina and saw firsthand how that went. Only a year ago, Haiti faced circumstances similar to those in Japan right now and saw how swiftly and how completely sympathy faded, once the story was no longer making headlines. That is not to say that there are no individuals or organizations striving to make a difference there every day or even just today. However, between the time of the earthquake in Haiti and the Tsunami in Japan, the list of countries that have been affected by natural disasters has grown rapidly. Each new country affected becomes news and leaves the others as “old news”. In journalism we refer to news like natural disasters as “hard news”, which is heavily driven by time and immediacy. Puppies fall under the umbrella of “soft news” and stories about them are “human interest” stories, meaning that stories about puppies never get old.

 As you consider all of this, think of how you would feel, if you were in a place of need and found that people were more willing to help a cute little puppy than a starving man. The shelter we were meant to provide for one another is literal and figurative. As you leave your computer ask yourself who has found refuge in the shelter of your arms so far? Who else can look to you for shelter? And who can you depend on for shelter? If you find the list to be any less than the whole world, work on making it grow to that point.

P.S. If you liked this song, check out this artist:

Jars of Clay ßI love this band!

Also, be sure to check out the shelter resources for lyrics on the shelter album, essays inspired by the project and the songs, and help playing a few of the songs on the guitar.

“Okay, today you’re gonna be Asian”

Photo via Word on the Stainbrooks Street

It’s ten in the morning and still feels too early for any class, let alone a math class, when my stats teacher explains the difference between treatments and conditions (I think), using race as an example, she gets me thinking about something completely unrelated to statistics.

She herself is Asian and explained that race is not something you use as a treatment, declaring, you can’t say to a subject in an experiment “Okay, today you’re gonna be Asian.” I laughed, because it was funny and she is the most humorous professor I’ve had so far this year, but it occurs to me that this notion has serious implications in a metaphorical sense (read: in Moriah’s odd-wired mind).

The notion of turning race on and off is something that hits home for me, as an African American frequently accused of “acting white”. Although every girl has a circle of friends, I have no cliques (particularly not racial or cultural cliques) that I identify with. The people I consider friends come from a number of cultures and ethnicities. I would in fact say that I have several circles of friends and although we are all pretty likeminded, those circles do not often overlap, because racial and cultural differences in addition to varied interests and personalities make it difficult for connection to occur.

This is understandable, but also an issue that I hope for my friends to overcome. For me personally, it’s hardly an issue. At first I wondered if I were being inconsistent, changing my behavior based on which group I am with, but after careful thought and consideration I decided against that theory. I don’t change my colors”, rather I am clear. Not black, not white, simply transparent. I am the same no matter who I am with. Naturally clear “goes with everything”.

Call it a paradox, an oxymoron, or just plain confusing, but I would love to live in a world both “clear” and colorful all at once.

P.S. If you liked the song, check out this artist:

Nicole C. Mullen

Launchpad

I’ve recently (read: this past Monday) started meeting with a group of girls I have a vocal instruction course with. We have class every Monday and Wednesday and plan to meet for lunch afterwards. Today, one of the girls couldn’t make it because she was headed to a career expo on campus. When I asked the other girls whether or not they were going, Madison, a Visual & Performing Arts student, said she didn’t have any “marketable skills”. I couldn’t have said it better myself. It occurred to me that I might very well be doomed, because I too am lacking in “marketable skills”.

I asked myself, what can I do? The answer: write, sing, deliver speeches, debate, handle small-scale “publicity”, and make a pretty good first impression; In short, I can communicate. However, because I am not particularly gifted in one of these areas, only “decent”, I stand little chance against competitors. This fact combined with my inability to finish what I start (in terms of creative process), such as song lyrics, novels, and blogs, are holding me back.

I discussed with the girls how I have all these big dreams, but so little chance of achieving them in our crazy competitive society and generation. My ultimate dream (like all plans in my life) is like a workbook with a basic outline waiting for me to fill in the blanks. My outline: achieve the ability to make far-reaching positive influence. Possible fill-ins for the blank (read: the “how to”) include writing, singing, and speaking.

My three dream jobs:

1.       First Lady (yes, this was inspired by Michelle Obama)

2.       Talk show host (yes, I’d like to imagine I’d be able to fill Oprah’s shoes)

3.       Singer-song writer (the list for those who have influenced me here, is endless)

Ø  Check out my FB Profile for an idea of who is on it

None of these careers are the type that you can just step into with hard work, a solid GPA, and a handful of degrees. As I thought about this, I had a small epiphany: I will have to launch myself. It’s time for me to amp up my creativity, initiative, and my voice. Here and now, as I finding out and becoming who I am I have to share the process with others as well.

This blog (attempt # 5 and the culmination of all the previous ones) is my starting point.

P.S.  If you liked the song, check out this artist:

R. Kelly

Alo Alo: Allow me to introduce myself

Photo courtesty of Orla Lavelle Photoography

 Brief Bio

I was born in Brooklyn, NY and currently live in Richardson, TX.  I have lived in over a dozen places in-between, throughout 6 states including Oklahoma, Illinois, isiana, and Georgia. I am the eldest of five children born to Haitian parents. I've grown up in a Christian home that has strongly influenced and shaped my character and my life.Lou

Up & Coming

I am a freshman studying Emerging Media and Communication at the University of Texas at Dallas.

For quite some time in high school I had my mind set on double majoring in journalism and education, with a clear plan to teach as I worked my way up into a prominent broadcast journalism career.  I ended up at a school with neither program and was discouraged from double-majoring. So now I'm taking the closest alternative to journalism offered at UTD.  I hope to develop a strong online presence.

Aspirations

I aspire to do many things. Within the next few years I will be working on my aspirations in music (voice, piano, and guitar), photography, and writing. Within the next year, I'll be focusing on developing the necessary skills to become a photographer. I hope to publish a book by the time I am 21.

I am looking to step onto a career that will allow me to fulfill my calling, whatever that may be. My career needs to touch and impact lives on a deeper level. No matter what, I know I will teach. I love working with children and would like to be able to shape their minds.

In the mean time

I would like to develop myself as a singer, a performer, and a public speaker.

P.S.

If you liked the song, check out these artists:

Marissa

Putumayo Kids Brazilian Playground