It's 2016, I'm 24 years old, and I am nowhere near married, much less a mother to any children. Sometime ago when I was younger, and perhaps a bit naive, I was fairly certain that I would be raising my first child by now. No matter. Although I have no children of my own, I have worked with many children and I work with many more, constantly. I love working with children. I would not say that it is my sole or even my utmost passion in life, but it is important to me and even beloved by me. One of the reasons why I hold my work with children so dearly is that I appreciate the opportunity that I have to shape children into who they will become. Children are like fresh clay, pure and plain, awaiting hands to shape them. There is so much beauty in the process - perhaps the most mind-blowing facet of that process is that so many hands will mold that clay. So many hands. So many tools. It is incredible to me that I get to watch and be involved in that process. In some cases it is unnerving and in other cases it is inspiring. In every case it is a reminder to me that that someday, God-willing, I will be uniquely responsible for bearing the primary influence over who my children will become. What kind of people will I bring up into this world?
Sometime ago I took some time to consider what are the first and foremost character traits and values that I would like to be sure that I instill in my children. I accidentally published the incomplete draft, and my mom (my number one supporter of this blog, alongside my sister) read it. I removed the draft, but we talked about it some, and she has been encouraging me to complete it since then. Recently, I have come to the point where I feel truly compelled to do so.
I work with children, and this past year has been a particularly trying one in my work life. I've dealt with some difficult children who behave in ways that are inconceivable to me, having been raised the way that I was. As challenging as they are, I do not love them any less than any other children that I work with. I cannot hold a child alone responsible for their behavior. I study their parents - how do they receive information about their child's behavior, how do they interact with their child, etc. Sometimes I find parents that are determined to walk alongside me in the interest of helping their child to be their best selves. Other times I find that parents will choose to stand against me in favor of dismissing, or worse, supporting behaviors in their child that have (unrealized) adverse effects on the child and those around them. I must say that in all honesty, I need an extra dose of patience from God to deal with such parents, because I seem to have reached my limit.
Of course "good behavior" and "bad behavior" are not the sole indicator of who a child will become. Behavior is in fact not so difficult to cure. It is habits that are more difficult to cure, and character that is most difficult to change.
My father has been teaching for 6 or 7 years now. I remember preparing one of his first classrooms years ago. One of the posters we hung had a most striking quote on it:
