My "Yes, We Can" Memory

As President Obama's time in office is nearing it's close, all we can do is sit together and share the feels. The White House put out a video today of people sharing their most memorable moments from his time with us.

I watched the whole lot of "Obama moments" above, and I felt so many feels. I am grateful for the chance I had to experience the election of our first black President and the incredible history that followed over the span of eight years. In the midst of all the troubles in our world, I can truly say of his time in office "What a time to be alive!"

I don't know that I can choose a single moment that epitomized the "yes, we can" spirit, but if I had to choose one, the day of Obama's inauguration might be it. Although he had won the election, watching him sworn in on the day that his presidency began was evidence of the fact that this was really happening. A black man was really and truly going to occupy the White House and lead our country.

When I was a little girl, I went through a whole host of things I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a doctor, a singer, an actress, a writer, a fashion designer, and probably a number of other things that have since escaped my memory. One particular aspiration I had was to be the president.

In third and fourth grade I had determined that I would be both the first black president and the first woman president of the United States. Even at that age, there were those classmates who thought the idea was laughable or impossible. And although I attended a predominantly (very very) white school in Tulsa, Oklahoma, I was completely unphased by the doubters or the cultural/political landscape at that time. Less than ten years later we had our first serious contender for a black president. Imagine that! It wasn’t me, but that was okay. By that time I was in high school. I was riding on the wave of excitement surrounding Obama's campaign. In fact, the election coincided with school elections for class officers. Naturally, I ran for president. My sort of inside joke with close friends was that my very white school would get its first black president at the same time as our country. Although I did not win my election, President Obama won his, and from that very day, our country was instantly and forever changed.

I no longer have a desire to be president (although Mrs. Obama has certainly has compelled me to wonder if I might make a good First Lady). However, when I look back on the all the #YesWeCan moments Obama has shared with us, I am inspired to be like him in some way. I will always admire the grace and courage with which he approached every issue and the steadfast resolve with which he stood for everyday people and future generations.

Tuesday's Ten: 10 Family(ish) Films to Anticipate in 2017

One of my favorite little things about the new year is new movies. Given that I work with children, I like to see what family films are coming out. Typically family movies seem to stay in the realm of animation, but I have included a couple of live action films as well. You may notice that there are some prominent titles missing from this list. That is because I personally do not have much interest in those movies (ie Cars 3). It should also be noted that some of these films are for families with older children. Here are 10 family(ish) I’ll be anticipating this year:

1. The Resurrection of Gavin Stone
"I have had the ... passion of the Christ for a couple years now."
JAN 20

Christian films do not seem cranked out with the frequency of secular films, and they often have a bit of a Hallmark movie vibe, but Hallmark movies typically make me feel good and we need more Christian films.

2. The Lego Batman Movie
“What?! I hate everything  you just said.”
FEB 10

The Lego movie was awesome and I expect nothing less from the Lego Batman movie. In addition to the Will Arnett brilliantly voicing Batman, Michael Cera will join as Robin.

3. Beauty and the Beast
"Look at her. What if she is the one, the one who will break the spell?"
MAR 17

Growing up, I watched the animated version of this film often. Belle was one of my favorite Disney princesses. She loved reading, she was French, and she wasn’t blonde (no shade). Fun fact: In my kindergarten school play, I was cast as Mrs. Potts, which was not Belle, as I had wished for, but did give me the chance to sing the classic title song in our play. While I want the live action version to honor the original film, but I also want it to provide us with something new, rather than a live replica of the story. Give us a twist!

4. Power Rangers
"That's not a piece of cake!"
MAR 24

I have very vague memories of watching the Power Rangers when I was very little. I am not a hardcore fan like some 90s babies, but seeing it brought back still makes me feel nostalgic. I’m curious to see what Lionsgate does with this movie.

5. The Boss Baby
"Behold our mortal enemy . . . puppies."
MAR 31

This is one of the movies I am most excited to see. It just looks so adorable! And I love the choice of Alec Baldwin to voice the Boss Baby.

6. Smurfs: The Lost Village
"I'm really freaking out you guys!"
APR 7

This is another movie that interests me strictly for its cute factor. Fun fact: Smurfette, who was voiced by Katy Perry in the first Smurfs movie, will be voiced by Demi Lovato this time around.

7. Gifted
"He's a good person. He wanted me before I was smart."
APR 12

As I was spending way too much time looking through trailers on YouTube, I clicked this one, because I saw Chris Evans. You would too. There are a few other faces that I was glad to see as well, like Octavia Spencer & Jenny Slate. Plus, the little girl in this movie is so cute. That lisp had better be real. Familiar and cute faces aside, this looks like a heartwarming story.

8. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul
"Come on out and get wimpy in 2017."
MAY 19

I have rather enjoyed this strange little series up to this point. The books are actually quite funny, and the movies have provided some good laughs as well. I loved the cast and I thought that they really embodied the characters from the book, so I am pretty disappointed to see a new cast (although I totally understand that the old cast has outgrown the series). I hope this new cast does well.

9. Despicable Me 3
"Wait, that's not a monster. That's a man wearing shoulder pads."
JUN 30

This movie is definitely my favorite one on this list. The previous Despicable Me movies speak for themselves, and this trailer says everything there is to say about the next one. I can’t wait.

10. Justice League
"You said that like it explains why there's a total stranger sitting in the dark in my second favorite chair."
NOV 17

I am not a fan of many DC comic heroes, excepting Batman (especially as portrayed by Christian Bale). However, something about this golden assembly here just peaked my interest. Superhero movies tend to be fun for the whole family. Hopefully, they'll keep it relatively clean, so that even younger children can enjoy it.

Tuesdays Ten: 10 Values I Vow to Instill in My Children Someday

It's 2016, I'm 24 years old, and I am nowhere near married, much less a mother to any children. Sometime ago when I was younger, and perhaps a bit naive, I was fairly certain that I would be raising my first child by now. No matter. Although I have no children of my own, I have worked with many children and I work with many more, constantly. I love working with children. I would not say that it is my sole or even my utmost passion in life, but it is important to me and even beloved by me. One of the reasons why I hold my work with children so dearly is that I appreciate the opportunity that I have to shape children into who they will become. Children are like fresh clay, pure and plain, awaiting hands to shape them. There is so much beauty in the process - perhaps the most mind-blowing facet of that process is that so many hands will mold that clay. So many hands. So many tools. It is incredible to me that I get to watch and be involved in that process. In some cases it is unnerving and in other cases it is inspiring. In every case it is a reminder to me that that someday, God-willing, I will be uniquely responsible for bearing the primary influence over who my children will become. What kind of people will I bring up into this world?

Sometime ago I took some time to consider what are the first and foremost character traits and values that I would like to be sure that I instill in my children. I accidentally published the incomplete draft, and my mom (my number one supporter of this blog, alongside my sister) read it. I removed the draft, but we talked about it some, and she has been encouraging me to complete it since then. Recently, I have come to the point where I feel truly compelled to do so.

I work with children, and this past year has been a particularly trying one in my work life. I've dealt with some difficult children who behave in ways that are inconceivable to me, having been raised the way that I was. As challenging as they are, I do not love them any less than any other children that I work with. I cannot hold a child alone responsible for their behavior. I study their parents - how do they receive information about their child's behavior, how do they interact with their child, etc. Sometimes I find parents that are determined to walk alongside me in the interest of helping their child to be their best selves. Other times I find that parents will choose to stand against me in favor of dismissing, or worse, supporting behaviors in their child that have (unrealized) adverse effects on the child and those around them. I must say that in all honesty, I need an extra dose of patience from God to deal with such parents, because I seem to have reached my limit.

Of course "good behavior" and "bad behavior" are not the sole indicator of who a child will become. Behavior is in fact not so difficult to cure. It is habits that are more difficult to cure, and character that is most difficult to change.

My father has been teaching for 6 or 7 years now. I remember preparing one of his first classrooms years ago. One of the posters we hung had a most striking quote on it:

image via QuoteAddicts

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

When I consider that chain of factors, I feel the weight of my responsibility for the children that I work with, and more importantly for the children that I will call my own.

I know that I have said a lot and we still haven't reached that list of values yet, but bear with me - I'm getting there.

The other reason why I find myself contemplating all of this so heavily of late is because, just a few nights ago I kept my tired eyes open to witness the moment when the course for our nation was set for the next 4 years. Every election year is a fork in the road on our country's journey through history. This year we reached a particularly dark fork in the road. Whichever path we took held some level of misfortune, but there was a path that was quite notably filled with dangers, toils, and snares - a path so narrow that it could not accommodate a whole nation of diverse individuals, and so some would be left behind, or worse. I cannot wrap my mind around how it is that our nation came to choose this path. To face this time as an adult is frightening; to face it as a child is even more so. Educators everywhere are now called to calm those fears.

Children are not politicians, and yet they express something like political views - echoes of their parents and the other voices that they hear. I have read of young children chanting "build a wall" and or expressing to other students that they must "go back to [their] country, because Trump said so". I have listened to my own students speaking of such things. One little girl asked me if I liked Mexican food and told me that soon I would no longer be able to have it. Children are repeating hateful things they hear and/or interpreting those things for themselves. Many children are, as one friend of mine said, "being used as extensions of hate." Many more are sad and afraid for themselves or for friends. They can feel the uncertainty and the tension of this place we are in, and it will undoubtedly have some bearing on who they are becoming.

When I consider that, I feel a deepened conviction to raise children and eventual adults with character strong enough to withstand, and more than that, to be a light in such a time as this. I feel a deepened  conviction to help them become champions for the afflicted - men and women who will stand for and fight for what is right. I feel a deepened conviction to bring up into the world leaders who will offer our country far better options when we come to that fork in the road during election season in their time. This is not a post about politics. It is a post about people.

If you have gotten this far in my post, then you have finally reached my list of values. I feel like I should congratulate you for that.

image via imgur

Here are 10 values that I vow to instill in my children someday:

  1. RESPECT & MANNERS
    From a fairly young age I think I recognized the way that people respond to respect and manners. I have never met anyone who objected to being on the receiving end of these. In fact, I have found that people are so much more willing to work with you when you extend these. My parents taught me that these were necessary first and foremost, because every person has value. If I value you simply because you are, then I must respect you. And if I value me, then manners are a must. In my observation, children without manners, and especially those who fail to show respect, simply have not been taught to value others. My children will see in my interactions and know from my teaching that every person is to be valued, and therefore respected, even those we disagree with.

  2. A STRONG WORK ETHIC
    I hope to be able to give my children everything that they could ever want. However, I do not want them to grow up with an improper sense of entitlement. I want them to know that in a country like ours, they are entitled to every good thing detailed in the preamble of our constitution. More importantly, I want them to know that as sons and daughters of our God, they are entitled to every wonderful thing that God promises. While living in the empowering awareness of these entitlements, I want them to understand that every other good desire they could have, tangible or intangible, is something that they ought to work for. I want them to be hard workers, who give 100% in every undertaking. I want for them not to resent the work they will do one day - from household chores to first jobs, and eventual careers or family obligations. I want them to appreciate the worth of the work - to understand that the result of the work is inherently more valuable, because of the work. I will model that work ethic for them, and with all the love in the world, require it from them.

  3. CONFIDENCE & HUMILITY
    One might look at those two words side by side, and puzzle at how they could possibly work together. I believe that confidence and humility actually go hand in hand. In fact, I might even go as far as to say that true confidence yields humility. When you are truly confident you do not have the need to hold yourself above others and you can be comfortable with your awareness of your imperfections. Both confidence and humility go back to value. These should be especially present in Christians. If I value myself, especially if I do so as God does, then I realize my value is inherent and not diminished by anything I can or cannot do. If I value others, then I realize that they share the very same inherent value that I have and so I have no place above them. I will make my children's value to me known to them constantly. I will remind them of their value to God, as well as the value of others.

  4. GRATITUDE & GENEROSITY
    I want my children to understand that even those things that we may be entitled to are things that we ought to be thankful for. They will not be ignorant or unaware of the grave reality that not everyone has those things that we have (however trivial they may seem). Therefore, we should be thankful for everything we have and we should do what we can to share our good fortune with those who are less fortunate. I want them to know that God loves a grateful heart and that He asks us to look out for those in need, just as Jesus did in His time on earth. Our family will actively practice gratitude and generosity - thanking God and those He puts in our path for those things we have, bearing grateful spirits, and purposefully giving of our time and resources.

  5. CULTURAL SENSITIVITY & APPRECIATION
    I am the daughter of an immigrant (aren't we all somewhere along the line?) and my children will learn that early on. I don't know where my husband or his family will come from, but I know that we will share great pride in our cultural backgrounds with our children. We will teach them that no race or culture is more valuable or appealing than another, and that every culture is to be celebrated and appreciated. We will not teach a colorblind mantra. Rather we will teach them to recognize that every colorful difference makes the world a more beautiful place. I will teach them that since we value others, we will strive to learn more about them and try those things that are a part of their culture.

  6. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE & KINDNESS
    One of the most endearing things about children, above their innocence even, is their inclination to offer unconditional love and kindness. When a child is very young, they do not know to be selfish yet, but it does not take them terribly long to learn. Before long, they barter friendship for favors, and decide that love is reserved for people who act in accordance with their will. Overtime, maturity in relationships helps us to develop some balance and we learn about the "two-way street", but even that entails a conditional state. I hope to be a model to my children of what unconditional love is. They should see me offering that love and to them, their father, and everyone else they see me interact with. I will teach them that this is the kind of love God offers us and asks us to extend to everyone around us.

  7. INTEGRITY & SINCERITY
    One of the easiest habits children pick up and scarcely fail to notice in adults is a habit of dishonesty. Sometimes it is outright. Most times I think it is more subtle - little white lies, omissions, downplaying of facts. I want my children to understand that dishonesty is unacceptable, and even more so, I want them to understand why. In those teachable moments where they witness or give in to dishonesty, I will examine with them the cause and effects of dishonesty. I will teach them that we are people of integrity. I will tell them, as my father told me, that integrity means that you are the same (or an even better) person behind closed doors or in the privacy of your own home, as you are before others. I want them to know that integrity goes hand in hand with sincerity, and that sincerity comes from a place of having the right motives for doing the things that you do and being the person you are.

  8. CONVICTION & BRAVERY
    In many songs and stories I have heard the phrase "if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything". I think there really is something to that. I want my children to stand for something, and for that something, to be the right thing. Therefore, I will teach them what is right. With knowledge of this (and with God in their heart), they will develop their own conviction. Conviction is the the thing that causes one to stand for something - a firm set of beliefs that compel you to act. Bravery is the thing that pushes you to continue to act on your convictions in the face of opposition and adversity. In addition to teaching them what is right, I will show them what it looks like to stand for something and to be brave.

  9. OPTIMISM & REALISM
    I want my children to be able to find a bright side in every situation, and especially in their darkest hours. Optimism is born of hope, and while hope cannot be taught, only given, I can surely let them know that Christ is the source of our hope and show them what optimism looks like. By the same token, I will make my children aware of the simple and difficult realities in life. I will not feed into innocent lies like the existence of Santa or the Tooth Fairy. I will (with discernment) make them aware of the things going on in our society and in the world. I do not want them to grow up believing that the model for optimism is ignorant bliss. Realism is a protection for them against reality, because when the time comes for them to encounter difficult realities, they will not be taken quite so much by surprise or so easily shaken or broken by it. In fact with optimism and realism in their arsenal, they will find they can tackle tough times.

  10. UNSHAKABLE FAITH
    I want my children to rest assured that no matter how uncertain times seem, God is in control. If and when they should fall on hard times in their relationships, their studies, their jobs/careers, their finances, or anything else, I want them to stand firm in their values and be unmoved in their faith. My family has been through many things and we have seen God's grace carry us through over and over again. I cannot give my children faith, but I can build for them memorials as the Lord instructed Joshua to do in Joshua 4. They will know the stories of God's grace from my childhood, and from their father's. We will take time to recognize each story of grace in their own lives.

I realize that I am not  a parent yet and that raising an upstanding child is easier said than done. Nonetheless, I believe that parenting with intention is a step in the right direction, and I know that I have been brought up in such a way that I will certainly do that. I am the product of parents who raised me with the aforementioned character traits and values, so I know that it can be done. I have seen the result of that parenting.

Parenting may not be easy, but good parenting is so very important and worthwhile. I am not perfect. I am still developing and/or aspiring to the above-mentioned character traits and values. My parents were not perfect. As many children do, I have kept a little mental list of things I think that I will do differently with my children. Nonetheless, I turned out to be someone that I am proud of, and I have my parents to thank for that. One day when that responsibility is mine, I hope that I will rise up to meet that challenge with the grace and humility of a Proverbs 31 woman. Until that time (and even past it), I will continue to take care in the role that I play in the lives of other people's children.

I should note that I also realize that good parenting does not guranetee results. I know that ultimately a child has a strong will of their own, and as they grow, so does that will. I have seen surprising individuals come from very good parents. Still, the chances for a child to become what we inadequately describe as a "good person" are so much greater when they come from a home where there was solid parenting with intention. In those cases, the most hopeless-seeming individuals have something to fall back on even when they go astray. 

If you are already a parent, I want to encourage you in your own journey through raising tomorrow's peacemakers, innovators, and world changers.

This post has been  edited, updated, and reposted - if it seems familiar, that is why. I hope you found any additions to be enlightening. Thanks for checking it out (again).